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Bell Horror Stories

So I'm fairly excited about getting my fibreoptic, 16mb/1mb connection in my new apartment. The fastest I've ever had up until now was 8mb. I also won't be sharing it with anyone else, which means I can do whatever I want whenever I want to the connection. I have some plans for that bandwidth. Obviously, I'm anxious to get it set up.

So the appointment was made last week, I had to be at the new apartment between 5pm and 9pm yesterday. It was cold and rainy, and it was freezing inside the apt because the a/c was running on high. I was wearing some really light summer stuff because it had been beautiful yesterday. That is, until it started raining and the sun went away.

Anyway. I waited 4 hours. I only spent a little of the time inside the apartment because the entrance is in the back of the house and I didn't want the Bell guy to not realize that and leave. You know how this works. Blink for 2 seconds and suddenly there's a "OOPS, WE MISSED YOU!!" tag hanging from your door. So most of the time I was standing in the rain (actually shivering) waiting for Bell.

Waiting for Bell.

Waiting for Bell.

Do I actually need to spell it out? The technician never actually showed. Surprise, surprise. So I do what any sane person would do; called Bell with the intent of eventually cursing out someone on the other end of the line. Yes, I know that it's not the inept customer service rep's fault. But they took that job and that's why they get paid. To deal with assholes like me. So I call and talk to a woman. She's pleasant enough. She kept saying "16 megaBYTE" connection instead of megaBIT, which further raised my frustration level. Bell cares that little about customer service that they cannot even train their reps to at least sound like they know what they're talking about?

She asks me for the order number. Silly me, I left it at my other apartment, the one where I placed an order. The one that still has a desk, chairs, internet, computers, every single tool I would've used to place that order. No, I'm sorry, it's at the other apartment.

"Do you have a B1 number?" she asks. "No, what is that?" I reply, already knowing where this is going.
"Do you have a Bell landline at the apt?" she asks. "No. No I don't." I reply, already poised to let her know how I feel about Bell.
"Well, sir, without those numbers I can't look up your information," she states, also sensing where the conversation was going. I ask her if she can just look it up by... and pay attention, this may be a new concept... maybe she can look me up using my name. GASP! I know!!!!! What kind of crazy talk is that!?!?!?!?!?

No. No she can't look it up by name. She puts me on hold. (Keep in mind I'm already over my monthly minutes from the 90 minute phone call I made to Bell to order the service. so... tick tock tick tock). She comes back and tells me that I have to call Bell in the morning because she cannot look up my name. She can't look up the address. She can't look up the phone number they took (my cell) when I placed the order. This is where I started screaming fuck you into the phone... in the middle of my new, Orthodox neighborhood. Right on.

So the gist of my encounter? Bell will gladly waste 4 hours of my time for apparently no reason and I am, literally, just a number to them. No false pretenses of pretending to care about this customer as an individual, I was literally told that they don't care about my name, only the number that they assigned to me.

...

Of course, I called a different department a couple minutes later (tech support) and without losing my cool, talked to the support guy who gladly, quickly, and without me asking, looked up my information by name and then gave me all the different numbers I'd need when calling Bell this morning. Why couldn't the other rep do that?


I called this morning and I have to say that I'm really no more satisfied with the results than when I was screaming f**k last night. Apparently the phone line from the previous tenant is still active and they can't do anything about it until the billing cycle ends or my landlord calls. Now, honestly... in the hour and a half that I spent on the phone when I placed the order the woman couldn't have started that ball rolling? She had even mentioned that the line was active, but that I shouldn't worry about it. Obviously I should've worried about it. They didn't call me. At least not that I know of.

And this is how they work when they're still trying to get my money. I haven't paid them a dime yet. I can only imagine how superb their service is once I'm a paying customer. You should always keep that in mind in your initial dealings with a company. Pay attention to how you're treated while they're still trying to get your money. That's a great indication of what to expect from them once they have the cash. In this case... I expect Bell to actually come to my house and rape me with a broomstick after I pay my bill every month.

***UPDATE***

So, somewhere in the middle of all that nonsense the folks at Bell somehow understood that I wanted them to cancel my order. When was this? Last night when I screamed at the lady? Well... she didn't even know how to look up my info. The helpful tech support guy from last night? I was civil and friendly to him, he knew what he was doing. The woman this morning? We left the status at her calling me back after the landlord called. So... yeah. Wondrous levels of... something.

Anyhow, it's all fixed, the friendly Quebecois I spoke to last told me she'd call me back after setting it all up for me, she did, and now I'm scheduled for Friday. I wanted it ready for when I moved in, but whatever, it's going to happen. So, Anna, thank you for caring about me and actually wanting to help. Or at the very least, thank you for caring enough about your job to treat me like a person, even offer to let me get off my cell while you set up my account.
Tags: bell, bell internet, corporate arrogance, customer service, i'm a name not a number, inept customer service
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